Tuesday, February 3, 2009

You have to work to make it work...

No one has a perfect relationship, it takes allot of work to make it work. So here are some tips to move you along...

1. Make time for yourself - Sure you want to be with your guy/girl as much as possible. But there definitely can be too much time together. When you spend every moment together you begin to get on each others nerves and then as times goes by you begin to resent one another and that spark you once had can easily fade. I recommend finding some time for yourself once in awhile, whether it be a girls/guys night, a trip to the gym by yourself, or just going in another room and shutting the door to watch your favorite show or read a book. Like they say absence makes the heart grow fonder... just don't be absent for too long ;)

2. Pick your battles- Everyone is going to fight now and then and you should! Couples who don't fight have an even bigger problem. You need to talk about things that bother you in the relationship if you don't it gets built up inside and can lead to bigger problems down the road. But you don't need to bring up every little thing b/c then you become a nag! Before you blow up on your girl/guy take a second to think if it's worth it. If it is something minor just mention it in a non threatening way like " I would love it if we could be on time more often." Sure sounds cheesy but it works better than..." Damn it I hate being late, can't you just be on time for once!" Now if it is a battle worth picking go ahead talk about it and then maybe take some time to be by yourself to think about what happened. Go in another room, go for a drive what ever gets you away. That way you have time to soak in what happened and try to work on a resolution.

3. Go with the flow- No one wants a guy/girl who is constantly up tight. You aren't always going to get things to go your way, or work out perfectly. Sometimes you just need to sit back and say "whatever" (with out an attitude). You have to be fair and sometimes you are going to be stuck doing something your girl/guy chooses to do. Just embrace the time together and remember that one day it's going to be your turn and you would like the same respect. Now if a situation comes into play where something goes "wrong" try and laugh it off if all possible. Example: My boyfriend and I were out to dinner one night and the waitress was cleaning off a table across from us and she accidentally dropped a cup of ranch dressing and it went flying and splattered all over my jacket, my hair and my face. Well sure I could have made a big deal about it and called over a manager blah, blah, blah but instead I just started cracking up. Everyone was more at ease this way and we still got a free dinner out of it :)

4. Show your Appreciation & Support- Make sure to let your guy/girl know you appreciate what they do, you don't always have to buy flowers or gifts to show appreciation (but they are nice now and then), sometimes just saying Thank You is enough. Don't let them think you are taking advantage of them or not recognizing the effort you put into your relationship. Compliments are key in a relationship! If you like something they did, say it, if you like the way they look, say it, if you are proud of them for something they did say it! It goes a long way knowing your girl/guy notices what you do. If they believe in you it makes you feel 10X's better about yourself and your relationship.

5. BE YOURSELF- To me this is the most important thing. If your guy/girl doesn't love you for who you really are then to hell with them, someone else out there will. It's good to be silly and goofy and act as you would if they weren't around. I look at it this way one of the keys to a good relationship is being each others best friend. Think about your relationships with your own best friends, you trust them, you are honest, you laugh together, you share common interests, and you can always be yourself around them. Well your relationship with your girl/guy should be the same. If you find yourself to be someone you are not when you are around them or you loose yourself while being with them then that is a huge sign that that relationship needs to end...NOW

6. Find time for just the 2 of you- At the beginning of a relationship it's full of dates and fun times with just the two of you but after time and busy schedules date nights begin to dwindle down. Well don't let them! Try and save at least one date night every couple weeks for the 2 of you to spend together. It doesn't have to be a big night on the town, it can be as simple as watching a movie together and cuddling on the couch. With busy schedules and living with one another my boyfriend and I began to neglect date nights. So we have started trying to make an effort at least every couple weeks to have a date night. We will usually go out to dinner or catch a sporting event or something just to get out of the house together. We also try every week or so to have a movie night and cuddle up on the couch light candles and just relax. It's nice to spend this time with one another, it keeps the spark alive ;)


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